life's a journey.

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Sun, 19 May 2013 22:31:00 +1000

10/05/2013I love you. ♥

Sat, 11 May 2013 02:26:38 +1000

10/05/2013
I love you.

♥

patience really isn’t my strong point, is it.?

Tue, 07 May 2013 23:18:25 +1000

patience really isn’t my strong point, is it.?

tulipes-et-reveries: ^ you (;

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 22:43:20 +1000

tulipes-et-reveries:

^ you (;

Photo

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 21:09:46 +1000

the-absolute-best-posts: danorst: Moon Rise Time Slice…. this...

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 10:25:37 +1000

the-absolute-best-posts:

danorst:

Moon Rise Time Slice…. this is a collage of 11 photos taken over 27 minutes and 59 seconds

This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

13/03/13the start of something special.♥

Sat, 16 Mar 2013 15:17:20 +1100

13/03/13
the start of something special.
♥

Photo

Thu, 14 Mar 2013 21:49:48 +1100

Social life vs. Med School

Mon, 18 Feb 2013 23:54:27 +1100

whatshouldwecallmedschool:

Truth.

Photo

Sat, 12 Jan 2013 14:06:02 +1100

2012; The Memories that Matter

Wed, 09 Jan 2013 20:55:18 +1100

Cutest kid in the world ♥

2012; The Memories that Matter

Photo

Wed, 09 Jan 2013 20:55:00 +1100

AMSA GHC, Cairns.

The boys.

AMSA Convention, Perth.

So much love for you guys, best fam'ry out!

Reflections. 2012/13.

Wed, 09 Jan 2013 14:17:01 +1100

It’s time for me to stop. To think. To write. I was cleaning my room earlier, and I found my journal from last summer. It’s funny, almost scary, how much things change in the space of a year. Not necessarily good or bad, but it’s the experience. Sure, it hasn’t been an amazing year, it hasn’t been without it’s fair share of mistakes and failures, but at the end of the day, I’m still here.

“Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.”
- Buddha

One of the main things I promised myself this time last year, was that I’d do everything I could to stay out of hospital. And in hindsight, the fact that I’ve achieved that (with a single exception), makes the past year or so undoubtedly better than any of the previous four, as depressing as that sounds. Sure, people judge and physical limitations hurt. The leg’s about the same, if not getting progressively worse. But I guess I’m getting used to it, slowly, and a lot better at hiding it.

“Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional.”
- Roger Crawford

Medical school’s been interesting. Mum had a go at me the other day for “not working hard enough academically”, and I honestly didn’t know whether to be pissed or amused. Just because I marginally failed one section of a prac exam, doesn’t belie the fact that it’s Med School, it’s fucking hard, and I’m sitting on a 69 WAM.

It’s been challenging, but manageable. If anything, I think it’s that motivation wore off towards the end of the year. People talk of the 9-5 grind and assume that it’s only when you become a blue collar worker, but it’s been like that all year for me, and will be for another 5.

We make choices, such as Med School, and implicit in these are sacrifices. There’s dreams I’ll probably never achieve and careers I’ll never pursue. I still remember how all throughout high school I wanted to do politics, law, or aviation. Medicine wasn’t even a consideration until Year 12; I chose the security, went for the lack of job discrimination, and fell for the guilt. But it’s a job I can still see myself doing, and the years of training is just a process. A means to an end.

I’ve said it before, but for me, life will always be about people. Friendship. Love. Moments. Experiences.

Not the ‘success’ or ‘academia’ that I’ve always been brought up to believe. Dad’s been away for a few years now, just reinforcing the fact that his career is his priority. It’s always been about working, achieving, learning, succeeding. I had two conference papers published with him this year (and maybe it’s something I should be a lot more grateful for, but it was so much work). And it’s great that it keeps the family happy, but it’s not for all of us, and it’s just getting harder and harder to balance what I want with what they want. As asian parents are, they’re quite good at saying “no pressure”, yet having an insane amount of expectations.

“People come and go, but in the end, that’s life.”

I’ve met some really amazing people this year, something that I couldn’t be any more thankful for. Friends really do come from the places you least expect them to. It’s been great staying close to the SBHS kids, to meet new people at uni, and outside of uni.

Sure, people have left. Some have drifted. One in particular comes to mind; I’ve made my fair share of mistakes and I can accept that, but I never thought friendships could fall apart that easily. There’s two sides to any story and I sure as hell don’t even know yours. Some of the stuff you’ve said about me, I don’t even know where it came from. But you’ve taught me to look out for myself, and for that, thankyou.

YOLO - It’s just a crap substitute for Carpe Diem.

Carpe Diem’s gonna be a big theme for me next year. New involvement, new responsibilities, new experiences. To hopefully meet more people and make more friends. And I’ll try to avoid the YOLO shit (sorry DHO).

I’ve done some pretty stupid, borderline insane things this year. Getting drunk for a week straight at Convention, getting drunk and landing myself in a hospital, PH Cruise. To name a few amongst many others. In hindsight, I think much of it was to do with gradually falling apart from the pressure, stress, broken friendships. But met some awesome people too- Angela, Irene, Ty, Cedrick. And at least I wasn’t the one who jumped a fence in roller skates and almost got hit by a bus (-ahem).

“Never a failure, always a lesson.”
- To quote a friend’s tatt

Here’s hoping that 2013 is a lot more sane.

I’ve learnt a lot this year. About looking out for the people that matter, and looking out for myself. About not doing stupid things and landing myself in crazy incidents as a response to shit that happens. Because life is life, and shit will always happen, things will go wrong. I guess I’ve always been good at hiding stress, but it’s how you deal with it and manage it that really matters, and it’s something to think about for the year to come.

Sure, the year’s been full of rejections and failures. Failed job interviews, failed MedSoc, failed Yellow Shirts. Much of it would’ve been to do with a lack of perceived confidence, but there’s always next year. I’m honestly not sure what I’m going to do about MedSoc next year - it might not be worth running again, especially considering I can’t be involved in things like Revue and MedShow - but we’ll see.

I’ve been quite involved in uni stuff this year; Shack, Mosaic, PH. Some of it more rewarding than others, and honestly, much of it seems a bit pointless. Especially in comparison to my friends and how many of them have cracked BSOC, ASOC, the big stuff. But one opportunity leads to another and I’ll reevaluate after Sem 1.

There’s been successes too. Getting an Arc Job coordinating Mosaic next year, PH Exec. Young Local Hero of the Year Award.

“To lead is to serve; nothing more, nothing less.”
- Andre Malraux

It’s time to live up to the expectation.

Ideals of being personable, friendly, confident, eloquent, well-spoken, mild mannered, and so forth. It’ll mean a lot of hard work and dedication, it’ll mean being a lot busier than the last year. But just as everyone else seems to be getting on with life, there’s no point in standing still.

2012 was about getting myself into a good position. Adapting to uni, meeting new people, getting involved - with mixed success. I guess one of the biggest problems I’ve brought upon myself, is the more people you know, the harder it is to get close to people.

More acquaintances means less friends, it seems. But I’m greedy and I don’t want to give up either, so why can’t we have both?

“Be the change you wish to see.”
- Gandhi

I guess 2013 will be about self-development. As fluffy as it sounds, my New Year’s Resolution is to become a better person. Both for myself, and for others. And in the back of my mind, I do know where to start: the negativity, the cynicism, the lack of confidence; the laziness, procrastination, and lack of motivation. I need to do what I can, and if shit happens, then so be it.

There’s been a lot to be grateful for. A lot to work on. But a lot changes in a year, and without dreaming big, I’ll never achieve much.

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God’s gift, that’s why we call it the present.”
- Joan Rivers

So here’s to an amazing 2013.

♥

Photo

Sun, 06 Jan 2013 21:02:17 +1100

bunnika: I seriously just had to teach my mother some basics of...

Wed, 12 Dec 2012 20:14:39 +1100

bunnika:

I seriously just had to teach my mother some basics of parenting.

Both photos are of my daughter in October, the first in 2011, the second in 2012. I let her pick out her own clothes, shoes, haircuts, hair colors, anything superficial, really. She’s too young to understand the permanence of piercings, so she doesn’t have any. But hair grows, shoes get grown out of, clothes go threadbare. These things don’t really matter—shouldn’t really matter—but anyone raising a gender-variant child knows the world isn’t that kind.

My daughter recently requested a haircut like mine. A long flop on top, pixie-length fade on the back and sides. She’s been bugging me for weeks to color her hair again, I just haven’t had the time. But today she came to me with the same shyness she keeps developing when outside our home; she’s being pressured by peers and family to look “normal,” to grow her hair long and uncolored, to dress a certain way (she hates to match), to indulge in self-consciousness, and alter or not alter her appearance to gain the approval of others, and society at large.

THIS FUCKING INFURIATES ME.

I called my mother tonight, because my daughter had become shy again, and didn’t want to color her hair anymore, and she said it was because of what her Nana had said to her. My mother told me we should get that spray-on Halloween hair colors, so it wouldn’t be so “permanent” and my daughter could be “normal” again to avoid being bullied.

IT IS NOT THE JOB OF THE VICTIM TO STOP BEING BULLIED. IT IS THE BULLY’S JOB TO STOP BULLYING.

I know she gets teased sometimes, and we always talk about it. She stays strong and confident, so long as she has the support of those around her. But what that support falters, or pulls a 180, she’s left to crash.

She also gets teased for liking dinosaurs and not dolls. She gets teased for preferring roughhousing to playing house. She gets teased for liking Lightning McQueen and not Cinderella. Where do we draw the line?

My mother thinks this is a “minor” thing, that it’s better to just blend in. But it would plant the seed of doubt, it forms the foundation for queer kids staying in the closet, for disabled kids to feel worthless, for young girls accepting abusive partners. This is not “minor,” it is fucking MAJOR, because this is my daughter’s foundation, and it will shape her life.

Support your fucking kids. Let them be who they want to be, look how they want to look, and play how they want to play. And make sure they know that you will love them no matter what.

I just want to. Give up and cry. Or something. But no. Fuck you med school.

Fri, 09 Nov 2012 19:41:38 +1100

I just want to. Give up and cry. Or something. But no.

Fuck you med school.

troublecleft:

Thu, 01 Nov 2012 22:20:52 +1100

troublecleft:

theywerejustkids: #there it is #the defining moment #everything...

Tue, 30 Oct 2012 01:51:59 +1100

theywerejustkids:

#there it is #the defining moment #everything hermione is #because she KNOWS she’s smart #she knows she’s clever #but harry #she sees that he’s special #because he may not be a genius #he may be #when it comes to most things some people find important #relatively average#but he is brave #and he is strong #he is a hero #and hermione sees that #and she admires it#she strives for that #because she knew #from age fucking eleven #that books weren’t everything #and that she had an awful lot to learn

Not enough hashtags :P But this is amazing :’)

legat0: i think this is one of the most powerful photographs i...

Sun, 28 Oct 2012 23:33:28 +1100

legat0:

i think this is one of the most powerful photographs i have ever seen; it’s always been one of my favorites

I used to have so much time and patience for people. And now, sometimes all I want is that time and...

Sun, 28 Oct 2012 15:01:25 +1100

I used to have so much time and patience for people. And now, sometimes all I want is that time and effort for myself. What’s happening to me.?